MyLifeUncommon

MyLifeUncommon

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Limbo

Alex, Yana and I stay in a small one bedroom apartment in Kiev. We have a shower and a washing machine. Alex sleeps on the fold out couch in the living room. Yana and I share the bedroom. Today is our sixth day in this apartment.
We make a small breakfast and a small dinner and go out for a late lunch around 3 everyday. (Unless we have an appointment.)

We go to the grocery store almost every day because I can not keep food on the shelves in our tiny kitchen.
 A bag of apples, I bought yesterday, gone today. A bag of carrots, I bought yesterday, gone today. Juice, gone. Milk, gone. A box of cereal, gone. Cheese, a loaf of bread, a package of salami, All GONE. In one day, GONE.

 First, I was buying chips and snacks, but since the skill of "self-moderating" needs work for my two newest additions,  I only buy healthy things now.
Ya live and ya learn. 
So instead of chips they get bananas, but really they are happy with anything.
I can't even buy my beloved coke because Yana drinks it like water. Sad face.
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We are in limbo here in Kiev. 
And it's a hard place to be in... Things that I would usually not allow, are not worth the fight as I try to build trust. As I try to give grace. As I try to remind them I love them.
They have two feet in Ukraine and maybe a single small toe in southern California.  
With all this time together, we talk about expectations...
about what Adam and I expect in America, but I can't really enforce it yet. I focus on bonding.
 
I tell them, they will not have as much freedom as they do right now, or as they've had as orphans. 
They know they will have limited access to WiFi, and privileges will be earned not just given.
I discussed chores they will have at home, like making their bed and cleaning their room. Things that will be different than it was last summer when they had no responsibility.
I tell them they will earn a commission based on them doing their jobs. With that money earned, they will have to put it in three categories.
Save money. Spend money. Give money. Just like their sisters Lily and Elliot. 
I tell them they will go to school everyday, and they will do homework. Good grades are expected and so is hard work. 
 
They seem happy and understanding, plus Yana is excited brushing the dog is one of her chores.
 "Es my favorite!"
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We have been exploring the beautiful city above and below ground.
In Kiev, there is this intricate below ground mall and metro system.
Actually Kiev has the deepest metro in the world. I.Did.Not.Know.This.
I was just about as terrified as you get when I stepped on the escalator after paying the 4 hryvnia (about 20 cents) per person. 
It took all my power not to yell RUN to Alex and Yana and explode up the downward conveyor belt, pushing people out of my way in the process. But I kept it together, to scared to let go of the side to take a picture.
I was pretty convinced that we were slowly moving toward a bottomless pit, luckily that was not the case. I kept saying to myself over and over as we rode forever down down down, worrying won't add a minute, worrying won't add a minute.


Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?
Matthew 6:27
Coming up after our trip o the metro

We rode that escalator 105 meters. One hundred and five meters underground! That is the long side of a track, you know, the one people run on. There was a good 30 seconds when I could not see the top or the bottom of the escalator.
 I am such a chicken but it freaked me out. I was totally and completely fine and so were the kids, but I am just not riding it again. :)


So now we walk everywhere. We walked to the soccer stadium, we walked through the underground mall, we walked to exchange money, we walked to eat dinner, we walked to go to the store, we walked to buy 50 cent lattes, we walked to get ice cream, We walked to buy a bible in Ukranian. Sometimes we get lost, which I don't really mind as long as we are we are above ground.

So happy to see this sign. One of our many times lost underground.
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Are we ever coming home?

I really hope so.
We have been doing some running around this week and like this entire adoption, things didn't go as amazing as I planned. But, God is good and I can't complain. I am safe and the kids are ours.

Adam is coming to Ukraine right now. An unexpected, but necessary trip across the globe. You see, after our medical appointments yesterday, I went to the U.S. Embassy. I brought all the necessary paperwork or so I thought.

I was wrong. Not the first time in this process but hopefully the last. We need two copies of everything because there are two kids, SO Adam bought a ticket and is traveling 23 hours (on his birthday) to be here in time for our next U.S. Embassy appointment. He can sign everything in person. Wet signatures. 
Selfishly, the wife part of me, is thrilled. I miss that man.
But my mommy side of me is very torn; It will be good for Yana and Alex to have Adam here. For them to see that he loves them and will cross oceans for them too. 
But at the same time my heart goes out for my kiddos at home.  Lily and Elliot have had a rough month already with their mommy being gone a total of 22 days and counting.
Adam has been their only consistency (and my sister who has been substitute mommy). But now, they will be shuffled around from caretaker to caretaker. Although they seemed pretty excited to have special Grandma and Aunt Cait time.

Our other kiddos need us to both be HERE, in Ukraine right now. Although this was not my plan, it is God's and His way is perfect. 
Yana and Alex want to come home, they need to come home. We all do. Time to start our lives as a family of 6... and get out of limbo

So where are those passports????
 
 
 
Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.
Proverbs 19:21
 

3 comments:

  1. It is perfect. Having Mom AND Dad all to themselves, to see, as you said, how very important and loved them are is perfect. It's just not the plan you thought was in play. :>

    I'm laughing at the metro part because we LOVE riding the metro and because we were told that the St. Petersburg, Russia, was the deepest metro in the world. It's that soviet mentality making claims…

    Godspeed! Wishing you a quick journey home.

    (My adoption was five years ago, but the blog is still up http://from-russia.blogspot.com if you're looking for something to read as you wait.)

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  2. Oh Kimmy! I can't even imagine all that you are feeling. SO much excitement, but also so many other emotions. Can I do anything for you, besides giving Elliot the biggest of hugs when I see her every day at school? I can help any way! Pick up? Elliot can come over to play with Ella? You name it!
    Please just let me know.

    Praying and thinking of you all. XO

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    Replies
    1. Thank you holly for praying for us, God knows we need it. I am so happy to be home and able to hug that peanut myself. Thank you so much for loving on Elle while I was gone. You are such an amazing person.

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