Why does life always feel so chaotic?
There was a time in our marriage when mornings were sacred, but with two little girls in pink pajamas sprawled out laying side ways across our white bed sheets, those days are long gone. Hopefully that we will revisit that time again soon. They won't be sleeping with us at 25, right? Right???
It's 6:45 and I hear Adam shuffling Yana out the door for zero period. She has 8 tardies and her "I no care" attitude is a hard way to start the morning. From her drop off he goes straight to work. I won't see him for at least 12 hours, but sometimes longer. This morning I am lucky to get a "have a good day, I love you" to him before he shuts the front door.
My thoughts are interrupted.
"Mommy!" I hear from upstairs, I begin the hunt for different socks because Elliot says the first ones I grabbed are bumpy in her shoes. I pull back packs out of the hall closet noticing her napping sheets were never washed. I stick them in the dryer with a bounty sheet for 20 minutes. I brush hair while two little girls are eating their cereal.
Time to drop off.
First Alex,"have a good day" I say as he lightly shuts the door, I lean over the passenger seat as he walks away to slam it. He turns with a look like he did something wrong. I wink and wave, and get a small smile in return.
'Remember this', I think to myself. She got out of the car and I see her smile back at me. She is wearing navy blue shorts today, the ones with an adjustable waste, and a shirt with fish and red trim. She has her hair in a low braid and she is missing four teeth all in the front. I would like to believe she has no pain or worry in the world, but I know that's not true. I can't protect her from the friend that makes fun of her lunch box or the sister that ignores her. But I can assure her that she has a mommy and daddy that love her too much and have since the day she was born.
I'll just do the dishes, fold some laundry, grade some tests and smile because today is a day that I am alive. And I am loved. And I am blessed.
Today is a day that God has entrusted me with four lives. Broken lives.