MyLifeUncommon

MyLifeUncommon

Sunday, February 7, 2016

Change


I was told sometime after we first adopted that things will calm down around the 6 month mark.

Well, 6 months came and went, and we still had one child hiding in a closet and another running away. When there was any type of correction, a complete shut down happened. Some days really small things would set them off. We could see it coming, we would walk on egg shells in our own home in fear of when and what would be the trigger.
7 months was much of the same.

Alex ran away again the day before Christmas Eve. Yana slept on the couch waiting to see if he came back this time. Lily and Elliot cried and questioned, why does he do that?
The police were called again, and Adam and I waited until 2am for him to show up. Just the normal night of remorse followed, tears with the reassurance that family stays.
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I decided to stop blogging.  I stopped telling people what was going on. I stopped sharing stories of what was happening inside the walls of my home. I stopped retelling the bad, because it wasn't helping.
I ended up quitting every extra-curricular activity I was involved in, including the nonprofit I started with my friends.  Elliot's ukulele lessons, Lily's soccer, stopped, just for the time being, until the dust settles.

I decided I would start choosing joy. I would start praying more. I would start reading more. I would start focusing on showing the kids God's love. I would start seeking His guidance, instead of trying to do it on my own. I would start blessing others. I would start being purposeful about my parenting.

And if I couldn't be that person, then I would hide in my own closet until I was ready to be joyful.
A Mommy-timeout.

A switch flipped, or so it seems, sometime in between Christmas and New Years....a new us. A more purposeful us began to happen.
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I am writing today to let you all know, the blog is going to change. I no longer want to critique my life.
I quit. I want to start to focus out side the walls of my house instead of inward.
It will no longer be me telling stories about the family's adjustment period. Instead, I will share ideas on how to spread joy. Things we do at home to raise kids that love God and love others.
Purposeful parenting.
The thing is, I'm not an expert at this. Like you, I am figuring it out as I go. So please feel free to share what you are doing. Let's change the world by being intentional with our time, love, and friendship. Live a life uncommon, a journey for God.



But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness.
Galatians 5:22

7 comments:

  1. What a great and positive decision ! :)
    Do you know the book "How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie"
    it is for us a good help to focus on the positive.
    Lots of strength and JOY!! :)

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    1. One of our favorites, too--tried and true throughout the years of print.

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  2. I'm so glad you're back! And, I love the picture you posted with this.

    Some days I declare (only to me) a "yes" day. Can we watch a movie? Yes. Can we squirt shaving cream on the counters? Yes. Can we have popcorn for dinner? Yes.

    I decided early on in my teaching career (I taught a long time before I had a child) that I didn't want to take back a "no". So, I decided to always pause and think before I said that. So many reflexive no's were really silly…or just about convenience…or just because we hadn't… I've applied that to my parenting as well. I think it helps us to have a happier home. And, because a thoughtful no sticks better, there isn't arguing. No means no.

    I look forward to hearing about your joyful, purposeful parenting.

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  3. Joyce Meyer has a lot of teaching in this area that has changed my life and parenting. I know it's not the same and I've never adopted, but relationships are relationships sometimes, and when you are dealing with a broken person it makes it hard. Joyce Meyer really has helped me.

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  4. Kimmy, like you, Chuck and I went forward with great expectations and honest zeal when we fought for legal custody of our grandson Nolan. We honestly thought we would save him, would give him the life he deserves, would heal his wounds. Well, after 2 years, Nolan is still a broken child; still a fetus exposed to drugs; still a child exposed to a mother and boyfriend who did drugs and at times overdosed; still the son of a drug abusing father who is in prison; still the child who hid in an attic with his mother and her boyfriend as they attempted to avoid arrest; he is still the child who was beat with a belt and locked out on a 2nd story deck at night by his maternal grandmother; still the child diagnosed as RAD - Reactive Attachment Disorder, ODD - Oppositional Defiant Disorder, still the child who is Bipolar. It is not the child who does not meet our expectations. It is we who accepted God's call to help them, love them, fight with them, hug them, discipline them. It is God's expectations for their lives that we are working towards. All in God's time. All in God's time. Keep the spirit, keep working, keep loving, keep believing. WE LOVE YOU! Aunt Linda

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  5. We're hosting this summer! I thought you might be interested. :>
    https://www.facebook.com/Open-Hearts-1041030395954274/?ref=hl

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    1. Yay! I'm so excited for your adventure. Prayers and love to you Kate

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