I was told sometime after we first adopted that things will calm down around the 6 month mark.
Well, 6 months came and went, and we still had one child hiding in a closet and another running away. When there was any type of correction, a complete shut down happened. Some days really small things would set them off. We could see it coming, we would walk on egg shells in our own home in fear of when and what would be the trigger.
7 months was much of the same.
Alex ran away again the day before Christmas Eve. Yana slept on the couch waiting to see if he came back this time. Lily and Elliot cried and questioned, why does he do that?
The police were called again, and Adam and I waited until 2am for him to show up. Just the normal night of remorse followed, tears with the reassurance that family stays.
I ended up quitting every extra-curricular activity I was involved in, including the nonprofit I started with my friends. Elliot's ukulele lessons, Lily's soccer, stopped, just for the time being, until the dust settles.
I decided I would start choosing joy. I would start praying more. I would start reading more. I would start focusing on showing the kids God's love. I would start seeking His guidance, instead of trying to do it on my own. I would start blessing others. I would start being purposeful about my parenting.
And if I couldn't be that person, then I would hide in my own closet until I was ready to be joyful.
A switch flipped, or so it seems, sometime in between Christmas and New Years....a new us. A more purposeful us began to happen.
I quit. I want to start to focus out side the walls of my house instead of inward.
It will no longer be me telling stories about the family's adjustment period. Instead, I will share ideas on how to spread joy. Things we do at home to raise kids that love God and love others.
The thing is, I'm not an expert at this. Like you, I am figuring it out as I go. So please feel free to share what you are doing. Let's change the world by being intentional with our time, love, and friendship. Live a life uncommon, a journey for God.