Home study

God put adoption on our hearts a long time ago. 

When I was 22 years old, I chased my then boyfriend to Georgia. He was going to open some camp for kids and I was going to teach.

Well, since Adam is not part owner of a camp in Houston County Georgia, we all know how that story panned out...

Circa 2006

However, I had signed a teaching contract to teach Kindergarten for the year. So my boyfriend, a Yankee, looked for any job he could get.

He ended up being a substitute (and working for Direct TV) and would work at my school in a special education class at least twice a week.

It is there that God put the idea of adoption in our hearts...

In Georgia, I had a student, let's call him "J". He was in foster care and his foster mom was a women that worked at the school.  Adam and I, would take J, and his 3 year old sister,  places after school and on the weekends. 

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That was almost 10 years ago. 

We have tried a few routes to adoption since, but only locally.  The first time was through the San Diego Foster system a little less than 4 years ago. 

The interview with the social worker left us feeling like this was not for us.

She drilled questions at us, "Do you have a gun?" "Do you think you can feed the child 3 nutritious meals? NUTRITIOUS meals? "Why are you adopting, is it the financial support?"

Then she proceeded to open every drawer in our common areas and bathroom. (Which is normal) While in the kitchen, she turned and looked at Adam, "I am not going to find a gun, am I?" He said, "I told you, I don't own a gun."

We shared a look, as if saying to one another, is this women serious. Why is she so mean?

Maybe she was having a bad day, or the fact that she thought we looked too young, we must be having financial issues. 

Whatever the reasoning, we took it personally and felt like it was an attack. A situation too invasive and something as a couple, with 2 small babies, we were not prepared to handle. 

God you must have it wrong, 

this was not what we were suppose to do with our lives.

 This adoption thing is totally not for us.

And that was that.

Except, last January, after we moved to our new home with two open bedrooms, that thought crept back in. We need to adopt. Maybe this time would be better, so we called the foster care system. 

A letter came in the mail, the social worker assigned to us...the same women from 3 years ago! Nevermind, no thank you. Don't want to deal with her again.

Hey God,  can we have a new door please,

 there is this not nice lady blocking this one, thanks.

We never called back to make an appointment.

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Since this is an international adoption, we do not go through the state, however, our social worker is contracted from Los Angeles County, so I was preparing. Writing down my answers, ready to be defensive if I needed to be. Not only was I ready for the questions, when he opened my kitchen drawers, he would find canned veggies sorted by size and category, an amazingly organized silverware drawer and the cleanest junk drawer anyone has ever seen. 

He walked in our home at 9 am this morning. Our girls were just finishing their pancakes and sticky syrup hands were being washed in the kitchen sink. I set up some kinetic sand for the girls, as Adam led our visitor to the dinning room table where we would have the interview. 

I said a little prayer and entered the room.

He was pleasant, more than that, he was kind and helpful and a real person. Yes, he asked us questions and typed our answers but there was nothing about a gun, or anything insulting. He asked how our families felt about this decision, he asked if he could speak to the girls about it. 

"Do you want to adopt Alex and Yana, Lily?"

"Yes, I cried so much when they left."

"Do you like playing with Yana?"

"Yes, she was really fun, and Alex too." 

After about an hour of genuine conversation, he said he had all he needed and that he will come back when the kiddos are here.

Wait that's it?, I thought. He doesn't want to open one drawer?  He is more than welcome to go up stairs and see the rest of the house (my shoes are aligned so nicely...)

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“I know your works. Look! I have set in front of you an open door that no one can shut. You have so little power, and yet you have kept my word and haven't denied my name.”

Revelations 3:6

God is funny sometimes

Well, J and his sister went back to their mom.

 He did not even finish out the school year in my classroom.  I pray that reunification was the best thing for J and his sister and although his name pops into my head sometimes, they were not the kids we were suppose to have. 

The funny thing is, that J is 16 this year and his sister 12, the same ages as Alex and Yana. 

And we are rolling

You know when you are inching up a roller coaster, and you keep hearing the clicks...your stomach is churning and you don't know that it was the best idea to get on this ride...Well, that is how I feel about fundraising. I am sick to my stomach, I have no control and I am sweating profusely (maybe that is the 108 degree weather we are experiencing right now). 

I feel like Elliot

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Can I help?
Well, God totally provides.  He has sent an army of people to help me (because let's face it, I am clueless), and they have just taken off running. Emails and envelopes and shoes and items and give aways...amazing but out of my control..and boy, do I like control. Whether I feel comfortable with it or not, those friends are going for it. They are bringing Yana and Alex home while Adam and I sit on the fence, freaked out and embarrassed.


God are you sure we are called to do this? The fundraising makes my skin crawl.


Then the next morning, I get a 4:30am wake up text. It's Alex. 

He and his 17 year old friend are being sent to some "health" camp for 23 days. Why? You are healthy...Who is going? Is Yana going too? When do you leave? What about school? Why only boys? What's going on?

He arrived today and he sent me a message saying that it is a poor camp and that he will not be able to talk to me much.

OK God, let's get them out of there. 

Embarrassing and overwhelming as the fundraising is...we are getting them home. Period.

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With this new public journey, I have received so much support and so many kind messages.

Some saying we are inspiring and amazing. 

Let me clear that right up, we are not amazing. Not even close.

I am actually a huge chicken! I will not watch scary movies (I didn't even finish Goonies, I was so freaked out). I do not like the dark. I hate going over bridges when driving. And I am totally terrified by heights.
I am not brave. I am very normal and actually kinda on the weird side. But, by the grace of God I am at peace with the traveling and how our lives are going to change because of this decision.

God has put my family in a position to save two lives. To do His will. To give Yana and Alex opportunities that would otherwise not be available for them.

I feel like backing out every single day, but That Voice in my head and those texts on my phone say that is not a option.

 And it is not an option. 

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We know.
There were a lot of hard things about this summer, which now I know was the trailer to my-soon-to-be movie. There were a lot of tantrum from all four kids, and a few from me.  

There was tons of going, going, going. A lot of "just put it on the credit card." Trying to entertain a 16 year old, 12 year old, 5 year old and 3 year old all at the same place. 
But not even a single lemon rind or apple core was wasted this summer. I am not kidding, they would eat the whole thing... seeds, stem, everything...and not a single minute was spent not growing as family. We learned from, empathized with and loved each other. 
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When I told Elliot and Lily of our plans, the next morning Elliot woke up and ran into Alex's room.

 He was obviously not there. 

Where is Alex? 
In Ukraine.
 But he is coming home. 
Yes, he is coming home (just not yet).

To sum it up, thank you everyone!!!! We are forever grateful for all the gifts and prayers and positive thoughts you have bestowed on our family. Now let's bring these kiddos home.

Almost Home video

They belong

I received a facebook message from the women in charge of the hosting program we went through, Children Cultural Connection, asking for a bio and a recent picture of the kiddos to find a winter host family.
 I went to Adam.
"Hey Ad, you want to help me write a bio for Yana and Alex? Winter hosting is on and if we aren't going to adopt them, they need to find a family that will."
"We're not going to adopt them?"
"You tell me..."
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This entire summer, we were hot then cold...in then out...
One of us wanted to adopt the other did not and we took turns. The emotions were flying and every conversation ended in us having so much fear.

We knew that by some miracle if they stayed we weren't kicking them out. But to travel across oceans, to a county in the middle of a war with two small children at home seemed ludicrous.

The fear, the what ifs, the we can't...didn't just creep in...it rushed in and set up camp in our hearts.

There are so many excuses not to adopt Alex and Yana.

• Adam has a new job and he can't really take off work.
• Who will watch Lily and Elliot if we go?
• The MONEY! Oh my goodness the money.
• The time that Alex and Yana will take away from Lily and Elliot.
• The different opinions from others is always a hard thing to accept.

Yes the reasons above are valid.

I am always the emotional one in our household, I lead with my heart. The idea that 2 children are living in an institution getting barely 2 meals a day.  That they have no where to go in 2 years when they age out.  That they have next to no life skills (only the few that were taught here) terrifies me the most.

Adam is much more level headed, always has been. Calm, stable, reliable...that's my Adam and he puts up with all my crazy. But he is a man of God and understands that we have a purpose in this life. He is always salt and light.  Love that man.

My God provides, He always has. I have said it before, my life is easy, but it is when things get uncomfortable that I have to rely on the Lord, to put all our trust in him. I know that He has a will for my life, and as tremendously terrifying as it is, I am giving him the control and I am following His will.
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I asked Adam if he could see them with another family at Christmas?

"No, they belong with us."

I invite you all to be a part of our journey from turning our 4 to 6. We will be doing soooo many fundraisers from raffling off two iPad mini's to shoe drives (please start gathering all your old shoes, your neighbors shoes and your sisters co-workers shoes), as well as a garage sale on October 11 in our neighborhood.  

We would love and are blessed by all the prayers and donations. 

There will be much more to come about the whole process including the travels, paperwork and fundraisers... stay tuned. 

And thank you!

"But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit." Jeremiah 17:7-8


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