It's go time

Thursday morning, I recieved a text while teaching 2nd grade reading groups.
I have a bluetooth speaker connected to my phone so when I play music my class rotates. One down fall of this system is if anyone text's (or calls) during that 90 minute period, the entire class hears it. AND if you know anything about 7 years olds, if they hear a random ding, they are filled with curiouslity, and 27 little voices start asking "what was that?" 
This was less than a 5 second distraction, but resulted in 3 minutes of all the students telling me (and each other) their mom/grandma/sister/cousin has the same ring or phone or hair cut. 

Well there is was,"Got your date!!!!" Written in black with a gray bubbled background on my phone screen.

It is actually happening. It is like the one question that everyone asks me now and I never have an answer, but now I do. 

14 days. I leave in 14 days. 

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This was the news I have been waiting for.  Praying for. Excited for.

Last night, Adam asked how are you feeling, and I started to cry.  
What is wrong with me???? I am suppose to feel excited. Through this entire process, I have felt peace with this part. Money always worried me but 21 hours on a plane without kids seemed like pure bliss. Just me, Rachel, Ross, Joey, Chandler, Monica and Phoebe. What mom wouldn't love that? So why am I being such a baby?


Then it hit me. I will be gone for 10 days not just 21 hours. I will be gone over Easter. 

The Easter bunny is going to come and I am going to miss it. I will miss them dressing up for church.  


I have never left my kids for more that a quick weekend trip. I am always there to pick them up, to kiss their booboos, to find their kiki's. 

I have prayed over this last month that I don't miss the girls birthdays, (which falls 3 weeks apart). I have prayed that I don't miss Adam and my wedding anniversary, (which is inbetween the girls birthday on March 28th) and God has totally answered my prayers. 

Elle's b-day last year

Even though we are not doing much, it's nice to be able to be there with them on their special days. 

Lily's birthday last year

I will be traveling through our school's spring break (so I don't miss work), leaving the day after our anniversay and arriving 2 days before my soon-to-be-6-year-old's birthday. 
Blessings, right? So be grateful! 

Stop feeling sorry for yourself Kimmy! 

God's work, God's plan. 

This is what I prayed for so stop complaining.

May He grant you your heart's desire and fufull all your plans!

Psalm 20:4

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I told Alex on Ukrainian Facebook,
"I am coming! I will be in Ukraine on March--- but won't be able to visit you until April ---!"
His response was,
"well we'll see you soon"

I think that's how a 16 year old shows he is excited!

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It's go time

This is the first of 3 trips. I am going for 10 days. Then I come home for 3 to 4 weeks. Then I go back for 72 hours (they are officially mine on that trip, but there is a 10 day wait period). I am coming home during that time, but most people stay.  The third trip is the I gotcha day, where they get to leave the orphanage with me,  as their mom. 

That third trip is a little longer because we have to wait for their United States Passports and birth certificates. 

This will most likely be early or middle May depending on my next court date. 

Honestly, I do not know what to expect. I don't know where I will be staying or what the orphanage will be like. I really have no clue.

I am suppose to come with a notebook of questions to ask the orphanage staff about the kids. I don't even know what to ask. I guess I was wondering if I can copy of some pictures of them when they were younger, but that's all I have.

Those of you who have done this before can you please comment below or email me some things I should ask? :)

Also, what should I bring the kiddos in the orphanage? Does anyone want to help me make little goodie bags for them?

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I am humbling asking for prayers from everyone. Prayers for my friend Ally and I during this first trip. Prayers that someone is willing to come with me the second and third trip. Prayers for Y+A and their transition. Prayers for Lily and Elliot (and Adam) while I am gone. Prayers for Ally's family and her kiddos while she is gone.

Prayers that the remaining 6,802.33 dollars comes in. 

And as always praise to God and his beautiful plan for our lives. 

And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Colossians 3:17

Cleaning out some junk

imgarcade.com

Have you ever invited someone to go through your junk drawer? How awkward and uncomfortable, right? Having them pick up every random receipt folded and jammed in there, examine every stick of Chapstick that no longer has the cap, trying every ink-less pen to see if it writes...questioning why are you keeping such junk? Such clutter?  

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When I gave my life to Christ, I didn’t realize what it would entail. I knew the gist of what it meant, but there was so much I didn’t know...

I mean, I checked in on him every once and a while and thanked him when things were going great. 

But, God kept presenting himself and I would feel that pull to get closer to him and so I did. Then He put a friend or relative in my life that brought me closer to Him still, and little by little I began to follow Him more. 

But then he asked to go in my junk drawer.  See, I didn’t want anyone to see that much ugly, not even God.

thereaderomaha-film.blogspot.com

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With preparing for our two new additions, I began cleaning out the two extra bedrooms. I started opening closets. I started to be face to face with the ugly. 
AND Oh boy, it was a-whole-lot-of ugly. Embarrassing clutter that is still hidden in closets, drawers and shelves.

My friend and I decided to clear everything out of our houses for Lent. 
Clear out the things that clutter our homes and our hearts. Clear out the things that we do not need. Things that block our focus on what our life is suppose to be about.
This Lent idea totally fit in with having to prepare for Yana and Alex, as well as spring cleaning. Win-Win

We are doing 40 bags in 40 days. Well, I was gonna do that, until I realized I could really fill up 40 bags with my garage alone. 

So I modified and adjusted, and now for lent I am de-cluttering 40 zones in 40 days.  (I haven't reached the garage yet, that's gonna be a scary day/weekend).

Things upon the mantle,

Things on the shelf,

Things that others gave me,

Things I gave myself.

Things I’ve stored in boxes

That don’t mean much anymore, 

Old magazines and memories

Behind the attic door.

Things on hooks and hangers, 

Things on ropes and rings,

Things I guard that blind me

To the pettiness of things.

Am I like the rich young ruler,

Ruled by all I own?

If Jesus came and asked me,

Could I leave them all alone?

Oh Lord, I look to heaven, 

Beyond the veil of time,

To gain eternal insight

That nothings really mine-

And to only ask for daily bread

And all that contentment brings,

To find freedom as your servant-

In the midst of all these things.

For discarded in the junk yards,

Rusting in the rain,

Lie things that took the finest years-

Of lifetime to obtain.

And whistling through these tombstone

The hollow breezes sing

A song of dreams surrendered

To the tyranny of things. 

~Scott Wesley Brown

They are only things? So why am I holding on to them? The stuff has no value. And there is a bigger treasure.

Just junk in a drawer or a closet or a garage or a shelf. 

There is so much freedom in not feeling as though I need to keep a box of old pictures and a movie stub from an ex boyfriend. I don’t need to keep 9 rolls (?!?!) of holiday wrapping paper. So much stuff, I didn't even know I still had.

Goodwill here I come.  

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When we began the adoption process 3 years ago with San Diego County, we were pretty clear about the child we wanted. 

The boxes checked were as follows: 0-3, and girl. Period.

But then God stretched us. He came in and he cleared out some junk.

Ok God we will take an older girl but no boys. I mean we have little girls. We can’t have a boy in the house, especially an older boy. 

But then God stretched us. Cleaned out a little more of our junk, and some of our fears. 

Ok God but only for 8 short weeks. Then we did our duty and lived for you. 8 weeks and we are done. 

But then he stretched us some more...
Ok God we miss them, but adoption is forever. I know there futures are bleak, but we could never travel across the world and leave Lily and Elliot at home.

And he keeps stretching us. 

As soon as I start feeling comfortable, 

that’s when God asks to look inside my junk drawer. 

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God is so good, His plan is so perfect.

Even if it means cleaning out a little junk. 

Amazon.com Axis Junk Drawer Organizer

Faith. Hope. Love.

On Saturday, February 14th over 200 individuals came to Walnut Grove Park in San Marcos to be a part of saving two lives. 

Lives that have been abandoned, forgotten. 

Lives of two children, a 12 year old girl and 16 year old boy. 

Lives that are currently being lived without parents, with less than 3 small meals, in an orphanage, in a country at war.

They came to show love, not the romantic love associated with Valentine's Day but a better love, a stronger love. 200 people gave up their Valentine's Day morning to donate to a cause and run/walk 3.11 miles for two children that most do not know. Chick Fil a donated 210 chicken sandwiches. Boo Hoo Crew donated over an hour of entertainment, cliff bars, and even wrote a song for the event. Ryan Brothers Coffee donated coffee. The Inbetween Pizza donated a gift card for the winner. Not to mention our other amazing sponsors, Mama Kats, Old California Mining Company, Sign Shop San Diego (contact number is 858 722-7569), Corcoran Coaching... all willingly, without question, to help just 2 of the 153 million orphans in the world.

Many people of those 200 are wearing t-shirts that will spread awareness that their are orphans in the world, orphans that deserve more than what they have been born into. They need faith. They need hope. They need love.
It was not their fault. They are the victims, but yet they are still being punished.

The more I am involved in this cause, in the lives of these children, the more I am beat down by statistics.
How can I do more God? How can I do more?

"Trust in the Lord all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your path."

Proverbs 3:5-6

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Emails from Ukrainian facilitators, the adoption agency and messages from Alex fill my inbox.
I am traveling, but when? 
Sources say the end of March.  But I still do not know for sure and will not know until 2-3 weeks before my court date. My first of three trips will be 1 week (most likely over Easter).
Leaving the Easter Bunny and my husband to care for two little girls.

Love them too much

I will be able to visit the children I put on an airplane way back in August. 
It has been 6 months since Yana woke us up yelling for the dog. I can still hear her "YADY, YADY" and Alex in a raspy tired voice telling Yana to leave Lady alone, it 's only 5 am.
It has been 6 months since I have watched Alex fall off his bike, requiring bandaged cuts.
I will bring them more supplies when I go, things like tylenol and vitamins, tooth paste and deodorant, luxuries for them right now. I will spend 3 hours during "visiting hours" with them each day before I return to San Diego. Leaving them to spend more weeks maybe months in the orphanage. 

I am Faithful that God will provide the remaining 13,000 dollars we need to be fully funded.

I am Hopeful that they will be ours before summer. 

I am Loving that this Journey is almost done!

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I have to put in one more order of t-shirts, so if you want to spread awareness and support the adoption of Yana and Alex, please donate to our you caring account 15 dollars per shirt before Friday, February 20th, 2015. Make sure to leave your shirt size and your email address, so I can email you and find out where to send the shirt.



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Summer hosting is up... Here are a few links of organizations 

A Heart for Hosting (the organization we used)

New Horizons For Children




If you feel called to donate toward Alex and Yana, please do so here 

Thank you, 
Kimmy

automatic

"Do you not know that the runners in a stadium all race but only one receives the prize? Run in a such a way that you may win."

1 Corinthians 9:24-25

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Things become automatic, sometimes I go through life just going through the motions. Sometimes I am not running the race, or even on the field...

I can drive to work and not even know how I got there. Never thinking once to turn this way or stop at this light.

Things get so busy, most days I am just worried about getting through the day rather than actually living it, actually playing the game.

But I don't want to just play, NO, I want to win.

But what is the prize? Something so much larger than a Lombardi Trophy. So much larger than any gift I could ever receive.

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I seem to be this person that joins every committee.  I can do it, what's one more thing?

I want to be a "good steward." I want to show God's love. Right? but sometimes it's those things that I am joining that become chores, making me overwhelmed with the world around me. More about people and less about God.

It's during those times I loose sight of what is important, "Who am I serving?" (Thank you Meghan)

I am not going to please the world, I am not going to please everyone. But I do not live my life to please everyone.. I am here to please the One who is always faithful to me.

I am here to play the game he wants me to play. 

It's not a daily decision, no, it's an every choice decision. It's a ever time I open my big mouth decision.  

I want to do good works for him, because of my faith in Him and my love for Him. Now, why can't I always remember that?

I just  don't want things to be automatic.

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Reality

In the copy room yesterday, I was talking to a co-worker. She asked me how I was, and I responded livin' the dream...which is my usual response to that question. 

Reality: Apple cider and 7 pm, we were in bed by 8:30

She made me laugh and think when she replied, I know I am your friend on Facebook.

It's funny because, that's not real life, at least that's not my real life. 
Facebook posts are the times when my family is actually getting along and not running down hallways or screaming because they don't have the pink plate. The times when my 3 year old has clothes on. There the times in my day/week when all is calm...so like the 2-5%. Reality is the other 95-98%.

As I look back on my posts, I noticed I portray our family as having it all together.  Why wouldn't we adopt, we all play cards on a Thursday night?!?

Reality: Elliot threw her cards like 3 minutes later, game over.

Well, let me give you a glimpse of the real life uncommon that is actually quiet COMMON (or should I say chaotic?).

Reality:I held Lily's hand up the entire time, look closely at her wrist (my hand)

Reality: The picture says it all

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As I sit not even four feet from my children Tuesday afternoon around 2:00, after giving up on actually having them nap that day, I began to make copies of the 5th (yes, 5th) copy of our Dossier. Trying to make sure I have 3 copies of this form, and 4 copies of that form, but only two copies of the other form...when I hear a loud series of thumps and a cry.
"What happened?" as I look down the stair way...
My five year old put my three year old into their hamper and rolled her down the stairs.
Reality.
A bandaid on a non-bleeding-booboo and one-kiss-from-mommy-later, Elliot and Lily were best friends again, for a second. Then one has the Rapunzel barbie and the other wants it. 
Who wants to watch TV until I can finish this?

Reality: This is like the 15th picture of these three

I can't believe they're trusting me with more kids.

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What are we thinking?

It would be so much easier not to do it. 
I have kids, that are a handful, do I really need more? No. 
Is it easy to leave for almost 17-25 days in the middle of the school year when you are a 2nd grade teacher with 2 little ones at home? No.
Isn't it fun always asking for money from the same small network of people? No, quite possibly the worst part for me.
Then why? Why adopt a 12 year old girl and a 16 year boy?

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These are actual quotes I have heard from people after telling them we are adopting two more. 

"You are such a nice family." Actually we are pretty normal, and totally imperfect even though my Facebook page tells a different story.


"They are so lucky." The last thing I would call Y& A is lucky. They have lived in an institution for almost all their lives. They have to move and leave everything they have ever known (their other siblings, their friends, their life). They will be part of a family with a parent that would have been 15 years old when Alex was born. They will have rules and obligations for the first time in their lives. Lucky would not be the word I would use to describe their situation. (A friend's blog about teenage adopted trials)

Reality: first and last time I have had coffee in bed

"Are they adopted too?" (referring to E&L) No, Lily and Elliot are our biological children, I am not adopting because I can not have my own. It's so much more than that.

"You must have always wanted a big family." hmmm, I guess.

"4 kids, that's a lot." Yup. That is a lot.

"Do they speak English?" They are from Ukraine, but they will learn.

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This is what we are thinking...

This summer, 2 lives walked into our home. They stayed for 8 weeks. They cried, they yelled, they pouted, they ran away (tried to), they cooked, they cleaned, they sang, they laughed, they loved. 
Then they went home.
Two lives back in an orphanage.

You see, we are so blessed, we have been given the opportunity to change two lives for the better. To give 2 lives a future. To give two lives love.

"And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest is love."

1 Corinthians 13:13

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We are adopting Alex and Yana because they are 12 and 16 and they need a home. We are adopting Alex and Yana because we are blessed and want to bless others. We are adopting Alex and Yana because they need and deserve love.  We are adopting Alex and Yana so they have a family and friends that will look out and care for them. We are adopting Alex and Yana because God has called us to be their parents. We are adopting Alex and Yana because the greatest is love.

We could have never done it without the amazing support of all our friends and family. 
I am amazed and humbled by the amount of love that our family has received and am so grateful. 

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I guess my point is that we do not have to be a family livin' the dream to adopt. We just have to be a family that loves each other unconditionally; even when our 5 year old rolls our 3 year old down a flight of stairs and we do that.

Adoption update

As I wait on the one final form, clearance from USCIS, reality is setting in. My new reality, a soon-to-be mama of four. God is good.

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Fundraiser time

We are having a 5k here in San Marcos. This Valentine's Day come run for Love. 

Just go on to our donation page, donate 25 for 1 runner or 45 for a family and in the message part write your t-shirt(s) sizes. And your registered. 

If you are out of town-ers, and still want to support us, you can buy a shirt the same way. Go to our donation page and donate 15 dollars but make sure you leave your email so I can get your address. All shirts traveling through the mail will have to wait until after Valentine's day. 

In the "O": "This shirt helped find a home for an orphan in Ukraine"

Thank you all so much!

Kimmy

the happenings

Life style picture to be submitted to Ukraine with our Dossier

So many people have asked what I am doing, how do you adopt, what does it entail... 
I decided to tell you all about what my next 3 weeks will involve as I begin to submit my dossier. This is a fancy smancy word for all the paperwork, documents, interviews, history, blah blah... that is submitted to Ukraine.

I try to wake up a 4 am and get adoption stuff done, emails, appointments, filling out papers. It is the only time in this house that I am alone. It is quite and I have no one bothering me :)

It's actually happening.
Scattered across my antique desk in the upstairs hallway are 5 piles of papers. To do piles. For the last few months, I felt as though this was never going to happen, but as I sit here with these forms and my checklist it seems so reasonable. A huge paradigm shift from my feelings last week. 

So grateful for this feeling Lord, and my many piles. 

Pile #1: Today's todo list: FBI criminal report requests filled out, finger print cards (the real cool old fashion ink kind),  credit card authorization, and USPS priority mail envelope ready to be sent. When I receive the criminal report for both Adam and I, it will need to be notarized and apostilled.

Pile #2: Medical reports to be copied on kaiser letterhead and filled out in blue ink by our amazing doctor (who has already filled out 3 different forms from us in the last 6 months.) As well as a place for him to copy a license. Then it will be notarized and apostilled.

Pile #3: A salary verification form to be filled out by our human resources department, where she has to write in blue pen our net income for the last 6 months starting in July 2014, but first copy it on the district letter head. Then that will be notarized and apostilled.

Pile #4: Proof of home ownership to be filled out by any real estate agent verifying the market value of our home and our monthly payments. Also then notarized and apostilled.

And finally pile #5: Everything else :) 4 copies of Adam's and my passports, petition for a specific child (thats the most exciting form: that one has Alex and Yana's name on it. Asking Ukraine if we can have these specific kiddos, our kiddos), 11 or so other forms that we need to sign in front of a notary. 6 photos  of our everyday life to be submitted, and of course 3 copies of our completed home study. On top of that large pile is a name of a courier.  A person living in sacramento that will walk our completed notarized dossier to California's Secartary of State office to have everything apostilled and sent back to us the same day, for a fee of course.

These are a few of the life style pictures we are submitting to Ukraine

life style picture

When my piles are gone and submitted, I get my dates to travel about a month later. Hopefully my desk will be empty by late January. 
Ukraine here I come.

If you feel called to donate to bringing home Yana and Alex before the new year please do so here.

And thank you, every little bit helps.

This link is the estimated cost of adopting 1 child from Ukraine if anyone is interested. 

Is tomorrow Christmas eve?

"Mommy, how many more days until Christmas?"
"Mommy, is tomorrow Christmas Eve?"
"Mommy you said 2 more days?"

Yesterday, two little girls were hiding behind the decorated christmas tree, slowly peeling back tape on the tissue paper wrapped gifts sent from Grandma in Ohio.

"What are you doing?" I suspiciously questioned from the back yard.
No answer...crickets!
Adam walks inside the house from weeding the hill outside.
"You guys don't need to be over there, we have to wait until Christmas."

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Wait...Waiting. All this preparation, the build up, the excitement, just to WAIT!

"I'm Elliot!"

I remember being a child and wanting to unwrap every gift... oh the despair! Would Christmas ever come?

I also remember the feeling I had when I didn't wait. It was worse...

My mom was on a flight (she was a flight attendant) and my dad was at work. The babysitter preoccupied with my baby sister. I snuck into my parents room from the back yard. Quietly pulling open the rolling mirrored doors. Finding the power ranger toys in my parents closet, all 5 guys where there..I went through the clothes, the candy, there wasn't one thing I didn't uncover.
I have never told anyone this and as I sit here and write, I feel like such a stinker.

I thought it was so much fun, but then hearing something in the hall way, I shoved everything back in the closet and ran outside to pretend like I was swinging on the swings the entire time.

Christmas came that year, and there wasn't one thing in the stocking or under the tree that was special, that was new or exciting. I took away the the marvel, the wonder, the anticipation of the day. I robbed my parents of the expression on my face when I saw the gifts for the first time. I robbed myself of believing.

Things are better when you wait. When you can share the experience with people that truly love you. To be in the timing God wants, not rushed or pushed, but the right time.

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 So lately, "waiting" has been everywhere in my life. Obviously with the Christmas season, but also with the adoption process.
I am trying to wrap my head around how to wait faithfully when there are no signs of encouragement. Only the pressure to push forward from myself, and my friends chatter in my ear to go go go. The question of "when..."

We hadn't received some important papers from our agency and after emailing them 3 times this month we still had not received them.  It was heart wrenching. I asked Adam to get involved and write an email.
(I have really tried to take the reins during this adoption process, since I am only working part-time this year and Adam is in a new position. I basically come to him with stacks of paper and say sign here, and kinda let him know where we are at.) 

So we have basically been at a stand still, so Adam wrote an email asking whats going on and our agency had informed us they will get it done today and send it out, that was Monday. By Friday we still had not received it (or so I thought). This time Adam wrote another email that was not as kind as the first.
Adam is a gracious, kind, warm man, I am the brat in the relationship and it is so obvious that he wrote it because I was loosing faith and couldn't understand why we were still waiting.

 Basically not living by his grace but by my own timing.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your path."

Proverbs 3:5-6

After the email was sent, I had a feeling to check the mail again, so I did. In the long mail slot pushed to the way back of our community mail box was a key that said #2. Oh Cr**! I thought...I suck.

I opened the larger mail box and the large orange envelope was sitting there with instructions on what to do next with 5 copies of the pack of papers I needed to move on.

It's official now and all paperwork with a 720 dollar check and 180 dollar check have been sent, or should I say "rushed" to Texas.

And now I wait! We wait! Alex and Yana wait! 

But this time, I got the message God, I will FAITHFULLY wait.

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Yesterday, a guest pastor at our church said something and it made me laugh.

On Thanksgiving day, you smell the turkey cooking in the oven and you just want to pull it out and start the good eatin'...but you know what happens if you don't wait for the turkey to be done???

Salmonella. You are sick with salmonella.
I don't want a life of salmonella. If I rush and push for my timing, than that is what this process will end up being.
A long life of salmonella. Not fun.

"The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him."

Lamentations 3:25

Thank you God for knowing the path in my life, thank you God for helping me recognize how to minimize the salmonella. Teaching me to wait for you. Trusting in your perfect timing.

I am learning to marvel in His amazing wonder, to faithfully wait and love Him. Everything will fall into place.

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So no more peeking for me, but how do explain this to Lily and Elliot.

I'm not sure my 3 and 5 year old are going to have the peace of trusting in God's timing, and waiting until Christmas morning.

Merry Christmas!
Lots of Love,
Kimmy

Donate to bring Yana and Alex home here

"But for me, I will look to the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me."

Micah 7:7