Monday, July 28, 2014


Last night, my three year old daughter cried for me from her room about 30 minutes after laying her down for the night.
 "Mama!" she screamed through the tears, "I have to tell you something."
"Yes, baby, I'm coming," I walked through the dark hallway into her room and lay down beside her on her bunk bed, her 5 year old sister laying next to her fast asleep.
"I need you, sleep here," as she grabs my neck, "I love you too much" she whispers.
"I love you too," I tickle her back until she dowses off back to sleep and I prayed. I thank the Lord for blessing me with this child, for giving me the time to spend with her and lay with her. Being there in her time of need...maybe it was a bad dream, or a sad thought, maybe she just needed her mommy to show her that she is wanted and loved.
While praying, Alex and Yana popped into my head. 
These beautiful children, who are broken and sad and un-trusting and fearful, the images of them, like a picture in my mind. I thought about there life up until this moment, I became angry. 
Why them? They have so much love to give. They only want to please. They deserve a mommy. One that will tickle their back when they have a sad thought. 
Every child does.
I began to cry, silently.  Slow tears roll down my face, I kissed the three girls (my host daughter, and 2 biological girls whom were safe and securely asleep in their beds). I then, quietly, walked out of the room.

"We are family." Something that I say often, basically my go to phrase....
"Why we no go?"Yana impatiently asks.
"We are family, we wait for family." I try to reason with her, as Adam and his dad buy Alex his first cappuccino after a Boo Hoo Crew Concert at Ryan Brothers Coffee.

   As the weeks quickly pass by, Adam and I have began to slowly take the kiddos out of their comfort zone and introduce them to more and more people, with them being able to tolerate the situation appropriately.

 Last week, Adam's parents came from Ohio and stayed with us. (We were able to get full use of my mini van, 8 seats woohoo!) Alex and Yana both bonded with Pap and Babushka but it took time. Sherry, Adam's mom came whispering to me with a big smile on her face, "that's the first thing she said to me. " Ecstatic that finally, on the second day of their visit, Yana actually acknowledged her. By the end, Babushka Sherry and Yana were creating delicious master pieces in the kitchen. Oh and Alex, well Pap Larry taught him some great American phrases to try out on the ladies at the beach, "How you doin?" 

  We set our schedule the night before, so Alex and Yana have a sense of control and routine. It comforts them, they know what to expect. We have found this to be helpful and try very hard not to veer from the schedule. 
However, on Sunday on the way to church around 10:00, I got a phone call from my mom inviting us to a last minute family get together in Los Angeles at 2:00. "I don't know mom, we already decided what we are going to do today. But I will give them a choice and I'll call you back." 
"Alex? Babuska Noreen on phone, we can go to jump pool, OR we can drive 2 hours and see my family."
"We are family, we go see family." 
"You are right, we go see family."


  1. This is a great idea. I'm going to keep up with you all as much as I can. I think what you are making with your new children is a miracle for them. Sending prayers for success. ~ Deborah Riney Simmons

  2. Thank you Deborah! This experience has changed all our lives and we are so blessed. Thank you for all your support and prayers.