Saturday, September 27, 2014
God put adoption on our hearts a long time ago.
When I was 22 years old, I chased my then boyfriend to Georgia. He was going to open some camp for kids and I was going to teach.
Well, since Adam is not part owner of a camp in Houston County Georgia, we all know how that story panned out...
However, I had signed a teaching contract to teach Kindergarten for the year. So my boyfriend, a Yankee, looked for any job he could get.
He ended up being a substitute (and working for Direct TV) and would work at my school in a special education class at least twice a week.
It is there that God put the idea of adoption in our hearts...
In Georgia, I had a student, let's call him "J". He was in foster care and his foster mom was a women that worked at the school. Adam and I, would take J, and his 3 year old sister, places after school and on the weekends.
That was almost 10 years ago.
We have tried a few routes to adoption since, but only locally. The first time was through the San Diego Foster system a little less than 4 years ago.
The interview with the social worker left us feeling like this was not for us.
She drilled questions at us, "Do you have a gun?" "Do you think you can feed the child 3 nutritious meals? NUTRITIOUS meals? "Why are you adopting, is it the financial support?"
Then she proceeded to open every drawer in our common areas and bathroom. (Which is normal) While in the kitchen, she turned and looked at Adam, "I am not going to find a gun, am I?" He said, "I told you, I don't own a gun."
We shared a look, as if saying to one another, is this women serious. Why is she so mean?
Maybe she was having a bad day, or the fact that she thought we looked too young, we must be having financial issues.
Whatever the reasoning, we took it personally and felt like it was an attack. A situation too invasive and something as a couple, with 2 small babies, we were not prepared to handle.
God you must have it wrong,
this was not what we were suppose to do with our lives.
This adoption thing is totally not for us.
And that was that.
Except, last January, after we moved to our new home with two open bedrooms, that thought crept back in. We need to adopt. Maybe this time would be better, so we called the foster care system.
A letter came in the mail, the social worker assigned to us...the same women from 3 years ago! Nevermind, no thank you. Don't want to deal with her again.
Hey God, can we have a new door please,
there is this not nice lady blocking this one, thanks.
We never called back to make an appointment.
Since this is an international adoption, we do not go through the state, however, our social worker is contracted from Los Angeles County, so I was preparing. Writing down my answers, ready to be defensive if I needed to be. Not only was I ready for the questions, when he opened my kitchen drawers, he would find canned veggies sorted by size and category, an amazingly organized silverware drawer and the cleanest junk drawer anyone has ever seen.
He walked in our home at 9 am this morning. Our girls were just finishing their pancakes and sticky syrup hands were being washed in the kitchen sink. I set up some kinetic sand for the girls, as Adam led our visitor to the dinning room table where we would have the interview.
I said a little prayer and entered the room.
He was pleasant, more than that, he was kind and helpful and a real person. Yes, he asked us questions and typed our answers but there was nothing about a gun, or anything insulting. He asked how our families felt about this decision, he asked if he could speak to the girls about it.
"Do you want to adopt Alex and Yana, Lily?"
"Yes, I cried so much when they left."
"Do you like playing with Yana?"
"Yes, she was really fun, and Alex too."
After about an hour of genuine conversation, he said he had all he needed and that he will come back when the kiddos are here.
Wait that's it?, I thought. He doesn't want to open one drawer? He is more than welcome to go up stairs and see the rest of the house (my shoes are aligned so nicely...)
“I know your works. Look! I have set in front of you an open door that no one can shut. You have so little power, and yet you have kept my word and haven't denied my name.”
God is funny sometimes
Well, J and his sister went back to their mom.
He did not even finish out the school year in my classroom. I pray that reunification was the best thing for J and his sister and although his name pops into my head sometimes, they were not the kids we were suppose to have.
The funny thing is, that J is 16 this year and his sister 12, the same ages as Alex and Yana.